15 Honest Techniques to Meet New People (FS061)

15 Honest Techniques to Meet New People (FS061)

We have all felt lost and lonely in a room full of people. Sweaty hands, awkward voice… what should you say? Who should you approach? How should you do it? Nobody wants to feel like that, but we’ve all felt it.

In this episode (and in the post below) we get into a ton of rich tips about meeting new people. Whether it’s at conferences, meetups or coffee shops you’ll glean something great in this one.

Because your network is critical. Partnerships, cross promotions, teams to pursue projects with, and, most importantly, friendships all come from some first encounter somewhere. Enjoy.

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“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” ~ Jim Rohn
  or copy + Facebook

Meeting people at conferences & events

  1. Do a little research before hand. This is the difference between “I don’t know who to talk to” and “there’s Bob. Hi Bob, we chatted briefly on twitter about favorite Canadian mobster gifs.” Figure out who’s going to be there, and then do Caleb’s twitter list tip below.
  2. Know who you are. Be you. Be yourself. Let them be themselves. This is how we find real relationships.
  3. Realize some people aren’t going to be a good fit for you. The goal is to find and get to know your people, not every people.
  4. You only need to break the ice with a couple people to make a pretty sizable impact. So, don’t rush about like a crazy person. Invest and be yourself.
  5. Get to know the Third tier theory of networking… it’s not about the big folks. Find your people and grow real friendships.

Take a second, take a breath, get your eyes and heart off yourself and onto, literally, anyone else in the room. They’re in the middle of their own battles too.

In-person tips and tricks

  1. Show up to in person events in your town. Look at meetup.com, eventbrite, upcoming.org and find something to go to this month.
  2. Host a meetup or conference of your own. Could be super small and focused… but it’s a start. In the podcast I tell the story of Beer & Blog in portland.
  3. Ask people in different cities: “Who do you know in __?” Coop the relationships of your relationships.
  4. Be yourself and be about them. The others in the room are just as scared and f’d up as you are… even if they don’t show it. Service is the secret sauce of all networking.

Break the ice online before meeting in person

  1. Don’t come on too fast. Simple social media interactions, nothing too crazy.
  2. Allow it take time. Which is to say, get started early, months before the meetup.
  3. Name Trick 1: as soon as you realize you forgot their name, immediately ask, “what was your name again?”
  4. Name Trick 2: picture them doing something their name sounds like. (e.g., Corbett = driving a corvette.)
  5. Name Trick 3: you meet someone, forget their name, introduce them to someone near you. “Do you know Bob? Hey Bob, I want you to meet someone. This is Bob…” Hopefully they introduce themselves to Bob.
  6. Compliments and humor go a long way. Write a post about how this or that person changed the way you look at something, how they helped you. Tell the world why you like what they do BEFORE you meet them.
  7. Promote your network NOT you. Instead of trying to figure out who to meet, try to introduce 2 people you already know at the conference.

Caleb’s excellent Twitter list trick

Before each conference Caleb makes a twitter list for all the people he knows are going to be there.

  • Browse the list BEFORE hand to stay up to date on what they’re sharing and who they’re talking to.
  • Keep the list DURING the event to remember who you could meet with.
  • Then, AFTERWARDS, follow up with people!

This is a really simple way to incorporate multiple tips mentioned above in one simple task. Thanks Caleb!

Show Notes

World Domination Summit “In july 2014, a small army of remarkable people will return to portland, oregon for a weekend of strategizing and adventure.”

Jim Rohn – How to have Your Best Year Ever. HA! Corbett nailed this in the episode.

How to Create a Compelling Elevator Pitch (FS018) “From now until you die, how many times will you be asked, “what do you do for a living?” Here’s how to make your response exceptional.”

Build A Better Network: The Third Tier Theory “But I met a group recently that shattered this whole “worship the people up top” view for me. And it’s changed how I approach conferences, bars and anything social.”

The Return of Upcoming.org by Andy Baio — Kickstarter “Launched in 2003 and “sunsetted” last year, Upcoming.org was the original art and tech events community. Let’s bring it back.”

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  • http://kimanziconstable.com/ kimanzi constable

    Great episode guys. Chase I’m a huge fan of the third tier theory. I actually used it and met the most amazing people. It’s less crowed in the third tier.

    • Chase Reeves

      Thanks, Kimanzi! Really glad.

  • http://templatemonster.com Eugene Wright

    I wish it was that easy! :)

  • http://kingged.com/ Metz

    Wow! That was a helpful trick on how to feel inaccessible or not to isolate yourself to the crowd if you’ll attend a conference or a meeting. Asking names in a good matter like “what was your name again?” and so on might look just nothing. However, you’re starting to meet people which you do not know and make you feel more comfortable while sitting.

    Love the podcast!

    “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” ~ Jim Rohn

    This is a quote that we need to keep in mind.

    I found this post shared on Kingged.com, the Internet marketing social site, and I “kingged” it and left this comment.

  • http://www.todayicanchange.com/ Robb Gorringe

    I like how you guys wove-in this type of info within Fizzle. Why? Because more and more, those of us who are building our brands, creating products online, etc., are starting to meet the very people we’re connecting with online.

    And when we do… it’s always a bonus to not act like a dork.

  • Ben Howard

    Its hard to get out of the house with little kids running everywhere. Do you have any suggestions for stay at home dads? So many mommy/stroller/yoga groups what about the dads. LOL

    • Deron Bos

      Ben, I was a Stay-At-Home Dad for almost four years with my two little dudes and I have to say if I was to do it over again I would say to myself, “Make a Dad group, dude.” There was a couple of lame attempts that I joined but because men can be so bad about hanging out nothing ever came of it — but I think it’s a ripe place for opportunity. There are many more dudes out there doing this and they would welcome a group to hang out with, if it was done with a little bit of thought. Make the group you would want to join.

      • Ben Howard

        Thanks for the motivation Deron, Jim Rohn makes it sound so easy, I have a hard time working on myself. Any Lifehacks out there, you can share to get that fire Chase was talking about.

        • Deron Bos

          Yeah, just start. Find one or two other dads and have your first hangout.

  • Deron Bos

    Per usual this episode had many hilarious moments, but my favorite exchange between the comedy team of Barr and Reeves that begins at 26:35


    CR: Anything you need to know about my motivation as a character in a novel: I just really want people to like me.
    CB: Yeah, if you want to get on Chase’s good side just pretend like you really like him.
    CR: Yeah, I’m like, “My life is going great!…But I really wanted — to get close to this guy, I wanted to like him, we seemed compatible.
    CB: Uh-huh.
    CR: And it was just…he was really hard to get to know. Super hard to get to know. Like really — hard to get to know. Like never felt like he was excited. Like I couldn’t tell if he was fending me off–
    CB: Mhmm —
    CR: Or he just hard to get to know. And it was actually a little bit sorta hurty for me…for a little while —
    CB: So you coaxed him to your apartment and murdered him?

    Couldn’t stop laughing. Timing! The key to comedy.

    • Care Mycue

      hahaha! I know: perfect corbbomb!

  • John Corcoran

    Great episode, guys. I love how you said that it’s important to do a little work beforehand, and to prepare and research people prior to going to a conference or other meetup. The one thing I’d add is one more step even before the point at which you’ve chosen an event to go to. Create a list of the 50 people in your industry who you want to meet and get to know better over the course of the next 12 months, then choose events and organizations to participate in where you will meet those people. I call this list your ‘Conversations List’ because really it’s just about having an ongoing conversation with these people who you want to meet.

    Of course, this is just a starting point and the 50 people will evolve and change, but it’s good to be intentional about what people you want to meet, without being constrained by those who are going to attend a conference or event you have already chosen to attend. In other words, if you skip this early step but you decide to go to an exciting conference because it’s in a cool city or your friends are going, you will probably be able to find people who you want to meet from the attendee list, but they may not overlap with the 50 people who would be on that initial Conversations list.

    Otherwise, awesome advice throughout the episode!

  • http://www.JeffLafferty.net/ Jeff Lafferty

    Liked this one a lot, especially the bit about going slow. With me personally, nothing puts my guard up more than meeting someone that already seems to know everything me.

    Its better to hold some of that back, not assume that someone is going to like you just because you watch all their videos or read their blog posts. say ‘hi’ and let the conversation develop naturally.


Up Next:

Tips To Make The Most of Conferences (FS032)

Big things happen at conferences — business partners find each other, ideas get born and developed, people find encouragement and insights and sometimes good, ol’ fashioned friendships begin.

The Sparkline — a blog for independent creatives and entrepreneurs building matterful things.

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